Erin's Corner

Express Yourself

What are you afraid of? — January 20, 2019

What are you afraid of?

Growing up I was terrified of dogs. Almost every neighbor of mine had a dog and I remember myself running from every single last one of them. There were times where a dog would not even be running towards me or after me and I would just immediately take off when one was in sight.¬† If any of my childhood friends had dogs I would avoid going to their house. I’m not sure why that fear was so strong but it was one I never thought I could get over.

Although I am not 100% comfortable with big dogs, I am no longer fearful of most dogs. I have actually become more comfortable around them. Especially after I get to know them. If a loved one or close friend has a dog, I take the time to practice being calm and getting to know him/her. Just like people, I try to remember that they have feelings too.

Now that I am older and through that phase of my life, I often like to think about what I am fearful of now. I list things…cross them out. List them again, but then become confused.

My same fear I had with dogs is the same fear I have with change. The terror, constant paranoia, anxiety and panic attacks, all come back around when the subject or action of changed is involved in my life.

Now, when I say change I don’t mean a different nail color or different hairstyle, etc. The small materialistic or non-life threatening things do not matter to me.

Break ups, broken friendships, death, school, finances, self image..the list could go on and on and on. But these are just a few of the things involved with “change” that scare me the most.

Things I cannot control. Things I cannot make better. Things that make me or my loved ones unhappy are what scare me the most. And I feel weird sometimes for saying that “change” is my biggest fear. Especially out loud to other people¬† because of misinterpretations.

But if I could go back to being that little girl only being afraid of big dogs chasing me in neighborhoods, rather than being afraid of the unknown…Things would be a bit different.

What are you afraid of?

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What are you afraid of?

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Merry Christmas — December 25, 2018

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas baby, I can’t believe we’ve already spent three Christmases together. Unfortunately, we had to spend this year apart but thankfully we were still able to open presents together a few days early. However, I have one last gift for you. I couldn’t wrap this gift but I hope you like it. I took some time to create a WordPress website for you. I want you to use this as a blog for whatever you like, it’s yours. I wanted you to have a space where you can write freely about any and everything that is on your mind. The website is able to be changed in case you don’t like the name or anything like that, I just wanted to have something to show you.

I know firsthand how talented of a writer you are and I think the world should know as well. So I hope this blog will do just that and inspire you to start writing more. I love you baby, Merry Christmas!

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